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Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Warkah untuk Mak

Assalamualaikum mak...:)

Sebenarnya along xtau ap yg nk disampaikn kt mak dlm blog ni..haha..mklum la,salu kte borak2 kt umah jer...bersua muka...tp,disbbkn ad sebhgian perkara yg mgkin xmmpu along smpaikn dgn kata2..so,along ingt nk smpaikn melalui penulisan jer...haha..hmm..

dah lme along nk smpaikn s/thing yg penting dan sgt rahsia dlm idup along ni..mgkin sjk thn lps lg..mse tu mak dgn along bercerita (mse otw g pasar basah) ttg golongan gay dlm masyarakat...dan ahirny mak ckp: "na'uzubillah, mntk la dijauhkn dr keluarga kte..."..hmm..mse tu,mgkin mak xperasan,sebak dada along dgr mak ckp cmtu...terasa mcm along dh kecewakn mak...tp,along wat2 xtau jer..hmm..mgkin skrg ni pon mak xfhm...atau mak dh tau ttg along,tp wat2 xtau..huhu..

yer,along pon golongan gay, mak..naluri along xsame mcm org laen..:( saat along ngaku ni pon,along rse sdeh..tidak la along suka utk bg tau ttg hakikat ni..malah, xpnah pon trlintas rse bangga m'punyai naluri pelik cmni..tp,along pon xmmpu nk sorok lbh lme lg..:(..dan bkn lah along yg pilih m'jd gay utk suka2..ntah mcm mne,sjk kecik lg along dh ad perasaan tu..cume along sorokkn dr mak,abah dan adik2.. :(.haih..berat sgt ati ni nk citer kt mak..tkot sgt mak nanges..tkot abah kecewa dan tkot adik2 ilang respek pd along..hmm..:(

cume along dh pnat nk menanggung beban ni...aptah lg sjk along disahkn ad HIV mse awal April 2014...sjk along demam pjg tuu..yer,skrg along pesakit HIV..hmm...hancur berkecai ati along dpt tau hal ni..tiap2 hr berikutnya amat berat utk along tempuh...rse beban di kepala...ats balasan yg yg Allah bg ni...ntah la..ssh nk ckp..xde sape tau derita along ni mak..

along tau,mak dgn abah nk along jd s/one yg baek..yg sempurna..dan boleh jd pemimpin suatu mse nti..malah,along pon tau yg mak nk along jd ketua keluarga yg bertanggung jwb..aptah lg ble mengenangkn sikap abah yg kdg2 ad barannya..yg kdg2 xendah ttg perasaan mak...yg kdg2 x bape nk peduli ttg kte..hmm...along pon tau,mak nk along jd contoh pd adik2...supaya dorg berjaya dunia ahirat...

sedaya upaya along cuba utk memenuhi hrpn mak,abah...dan along ucapkn terima ksh sbb m'besarkn along dgn baek..alhamdulillah...(sungguh Allah tlh mengurniakan seorg ibu yg sempurna utk aku...)

tp, mgkin along je yg xperasan kebaikan mak pd along...sjk kecik,along terasa mcm along xdihrgai..sume pencapaian along spt perkara biasa yg berlaku sehari-harian...mgkin xde ap yg istimewa ny pd along...sehinggakn xlyk utk m'dpt ciuman mak di pipi along..kdg2 ad jugak rse iri hati pd angah...seolah2 dia dpt perhatian sepenuhny dr mak...mgkin abah pon sgt bangga dgn dia sbb dia pndai bergaul dlm masyarakat dan ad gaya sbg pemimpin masyarakat...ape la yg ad pd along ni..haha...

xkesah la ape2 pon..tu cume perasaan along...dan sbb tu along xpnah ungkit pape..along cuba utk tdak menyusahkn mak mse bljr dlu..w/pun kdg2 kne ikat perut,along xpnah mntk sesen pon dr mak...sbb along tau,bnyk lg perkara yg mak kne setelkn dgn duit mak..xpnah pon along sshkn ati mak dr segi emosi especially time exam..sbb along tau,bnyk lg bnda yg mak kne pikir..ntah2 mak pon xbpe ingt jadual exam along banding dgn jadual exam angah..haha..cume time tu along akn bg tau mak,dgn hrpn mak akn doakn kecemerlangan  utk along..alhamdulillah...along pnah nmpk mak risaukn angah..maybe time angah eksiden dlu..mstila along pon risau..cume time tu,nmpk betapa resahny mak...:) kasih ibu kn xde batas nya..:)..

mse along dmam hr tu pon,mak jugak yg htr along ke hosp...cume ad gak t'detik (ble mak dtg melawat), mak xnk cium along ke?hahha...mcm bdk2 lak rse..biasa la mak,dh lme pon mak xcium pipi along..:) ..

rseny,sume tu dh xpnting lg utk along kot..sbb ble2 mse je Allah leh tarik nyawa along ni..xde mse dh along nk pikir bnda2 tu sume..aslkn along cukup mkn..pkai..ad kemudahan ckit..dan mmpu nk bg mak duet belanja pon dh cukup ok bg along...lgpun,tu jela yg mmpu along bg..along mgkin xmmpu nk bg menantu yg baek utk temankn mak..utk tlg mak..along pon mgkin xmmpu nk bg cucu comel utk mak tatang..haha...xpela..maybe tu bahagian angah la utk bhgiakn mak..dan doa angah la agkny yg leh smpai ke kubur mak,abah.:)

setakat ni: mak,abah,angah,adik2 xde berhutang pon dgn along..xde kesalahan pon yg dilakukan pd along...cume along je yg bersalah pd mak,abah,adik2...sbb along xsempurna..hmm..
maafkn along sbb xmmpu nk beri kebhgiaan pd mak,abah mcm org laen...maafkn along sbb mgkin doa along xmmpu utk smpai ke dlm kubur dgn mak,abah..maafkn along sbb penah iri ati pd angah..maafkn along sbb xmmpu nk jd abg yg baek..xmmpu nk jd contoh teladan yg baek..maafkn along mak..:( ..along xde daya nk tepis takdir ni..xde sape mmpu halang lg....biarlah along m'hbskn sisa2 idup along psni dgn tenang..along sgt berhrp yg mak,abah,adik2 dpt bg sokongan dan doa utk along..along xmntk pape dh..sbb xde ape hrpn yg tgl utk along lg....

Terima Kasih mak,abah....:(
~ dr along yg merindui belaian mak ~

Doa untuk Kedua Ibu Bapa

Wassalam

"seandainya mereka dpt mambaca dan memahami warkah ini..huhu..:( "