"being myself is a weakness,looking to myself is a shame,knowing myself is a failure.."


Thursday, 2 February 2012

just another day....

This morning I woke up as yesterday and before
Either by an alarm’s ringing or a mom’s yelling
A sign to perform an important prayer
Asking for forgiveness and blessings from Him

I walked straight, purifying myself
Checking flaws on my face
Alhamdulillah, it still perfect on its place,
Although the scars of shame are still there
I am grateful, another chance to be here

Then, I’ll attend my responsibilities
Picking up stories of respected personalities
Enabling me to face what I shall see
Helping my family who count on me

Alongside my way
I’ll be meeting those who are happier
Smiling and laughing expressing their day
While I reply to them as what can I appear

Thinking of myself who isn’t able to become alike
Sitting alone and staring at the moment
Imagining their heart is filled with light
It is never filled with hatred yet remains exuberant

After a whole day of so called tiredness
 I’ll return at dusk to my shelter
Resting myself for some time
Before continuing my journey as a traveler

And meeting friends either in real or virtual if I have d chance
Sharing feelings and things that may not matter to anyone
Hoping someone will lend his ears or eyes stalking the tones
Dreaming someone will try to grab its theme and expression

For a while, I feel appreciated
Afraid of losing them who are so kind
But no changes have been fated
Since I am still alone waiting outside the line

Waiting for someone that won’t come
Confusing myself with the virtual feeling
Something that’s so temporary like foam
But with faith I am still wondering

Once a while, I’ll return to the nest
Assisting a mom clearing the mess
Playing the role, acting the best
While I am no one except a hopeless

But again, it’s just a chapter of mine
Waiting to be ended by a finishing
The end that I myself cannot find
Without knowing the future of a living thing